Let’s face it, WoW totally fails the multiculturalism test when it comes to holidays. The calendar year of Azeroth is littered with events designed for waspy American geeks. You’ve got Christmas and Easter, the Christian holidays. Then you’ve got the American holidays: Valentine’s day, Halloween, Thanksgiving and a slight smatter of geek days like TLAP. Brewfest has been stripped of its vaguely Germanic roots and Lunar New Year seems obviously to be A Concession To Our Asian Markets. And now, with Passover approaching, there are once again absolutely no plans for ‘find five afikomen in four minutes’ achievements.
As Blizzard attempts to cracker-down its franchise to meet the realities of the world’s earth-toned population, I’d like to suggest that they begin with the traditional first step for angloprotestants: token concessions to Judaism. After all, you’ve been including embarrassing dreidel numbers in your elementary school Christmas pageants for decades. It’s time to take the next step and bring some of our fantastic yom tovs into your holiday cycle.
What could be easier to turn into fun WoW holidays than the Jewish holiday calendar? You’ve got:
High Holy Days: Finally, a holiday that is actually supposed to be two weeks long. Start by mailing apples and honey to people. For Yom Kippur, get people to revisit old content by creating achievements that challenge people to finish lowbie content in a limited amount of time without eating or drinking. And those who love crafting/gathering — get ready to make that sukkah!
Purim: This holiday is about getting drunk, wearing weird costumes, and killing bad guys. Plus it has a vaguely salacious concubine/beauty pageant angle — why is this not already a holiday in WoW?
Tisha B’av: Ok maybe we shouldn’t go there.
Hannukah: Many non-Jews think this is about menorahs and dreidels. Jews know it as a holiday about fried foods. I say we ask Blizzard to put it back in its Seleucid context and give them a chance to get vehicle combat right via some phat war elephant PvP.
The potential here is fanastic — and I haven’t even gotten to Simchah Torah! Jewish Holidays are all about eating, drinking, and schmoozing and I think it is high time that Blizzard realize that this makes them perfect for WoW. Spread the word!!!!