Golublog: An Anthropology Blog

Well as you have seen by now from the comments on this site, I’ve been hearing stories about Raccoons ever since I posted my first harrowing experience here about a week ago. What you haven’t seen are the emails I’ve been getting deluged with emails sharing some stories and experiences with me. Apparently this has, oddly enough, really struck a chord. Here are a few of the emails I’ve received.

Dear Alex (Rex?) -

Hi. My name is [name removed]. I found your blog down at the bottom of crooked timber and I’ve been reading it for a few months now. I live in Seattle, where I work for [company deleted]. My wife and I have a lovely old home up in the hills with a huge backyard and we haven’t had any problems other than the occasional deer tracks.

I wanted to tell you about what happened to me last week after I read about your raccoon encounter on your blog. It was about two in the morning and I heard some crashing outside our house. There aren’t many homeless people in my part of town, and so I didn’t know what it was, but then I heard the sound of glass knocking together, and I realized it might be some bum stealing bottles out of my glass recyclables bin. I got up and walked outside to see what the matter was and ask him to leave before I had to call the police. Anyway, I went out back onto the deck and there was no-one around at all. I started getting really afraid maybe someone was trying to rob me or something. Then I turned on my flashlight and shined it on the deck where we keep the recyclables. I saw these two glowing eyes just staring at me. They looked really green because of the way the light was shining off of them.

Well I was so freaked out I accidentally let off my minor spell sequencer. The next thing I knew the entire fucking deck had burst into flames! I saw two lit raccoons take off as quick as you can say lickety split. I spent $2,000 putting that deck in and then bam, one fireball later I’m sitting there all mirror-imaged and watching it burn. I was so pissed off. I had to wait like 10 fucking rounds before my Otiluke’s Resilient Sphere wore off and I could call the fire department.

hate raccoons,
-[name removed]

It is amazing how often I have gotten emails like this from people all over North America. Sometimes it is even from some pretty a list bloggers. Check this one out for instance:

Rex-
Saw the raccoon entry. Totally with you. I end up wasting one or two timestops on those little bastards every month.
Regards,
Mark Woods

Unfortunately I’ve also gotten more than my share of emails from the tinfoil hat wearers as well:

Dear Professor [!] Golub,
I found your exxcellennt [sic] website by using Google. They are after me too. I would be very interested in hearing more information from you about the secret plans of the Romulan Palladium.
Regards,
Dr. [name witheld] Ph.D., J.D.

So: If you have any more stories about Raccoons (but not Romulan assassins!) please feel free to email them to me (note the ‘email’ link at the top of the page) and I will post them here.