Golublog: An Anthropology Blog

(episodes i – xiii)
(episodes xiii- xvii)

“Well Anne,” said Cinnamon grimly as she wiped the blood off of the two needles she had just pulled from the guards and replaced them in her knitted holster, “it looks like all the boys have up and got themselves caught.”

“She needs help badly,” said Kathy, her face peering down into mine.

“We need to get out of sight.” agreed Cinnamon.

“Right. I had a look about earlier. This place is ancient. There are at least two levels of tunnels underground – mostly servant’s quarters.”

“Let’s get her there, then.” said Cinnamon. She reached down to lift me and then grimaced in pain, “can you move her?”

“I’ve got her,” said Kathy, lifting me easily into her arms, “let’s go.”

* * *

“You’re doing pretty good for someone whose head was supposed to explode, kid,” said Kathy when I regained consciousness. I cold tell it was false bravado.

“Why are you helping me,” I said weakly, “you hate me.”

“Hate you?” she asked jocularly, tucking a strand of hair that had come loose back behind my ear, “I’m here to help you. Make sure you don’t get into too much trouble.”

I tried to laugh – it came out as a low moan.

“Make sure I don’t… that’s Rex’s job.”

“Yeah, well you can just cancel that shit. Rex has cocked up royally – as usual. My assignment is to keep you from getting killed or destroying the world of ballroom dance, got it?”

I did manage to laugh this time, but it turned into a spasm of coughing.

“I haven’t heard you talk a lot before. You talk like Rex,” I said weakly, smiling.

Kathy’s mouth twitched with controlled emotion, and then her eyes hardened.

“Don’t ever say anything like that to me again. Ever.”

She looked up at Cinnamon.

“What’s wrong with her?”

Cinnamon put the back of her hand on my forehead and put her other hand on my wrist gently.

“She’s getting cold – the energy is draining right out of her. We don’t have much time. I don’t even think we can move her again.”

“Rex needs our help.” I whispered.

“Fuck Rex.” said Kathy bitterly.

“You need our help right now, young lady,” said Cinnamon, business like, “I’ve seen this before, when I was stationed in Sweden. Saami blood magic – usually they used it for political assassinations. I’ve never seen anyone resist it for this long, however.”

“Then I guess I should be glad that I’m just a ‘mere padwan’,” I croaked.

“I don’t think so. As a padwan, you shouldn’t be any easier to find – just easier to dispatch.”

“Then why isn’t she bleeding out like Rex and the others?” asked Kathy.

“Look at these marks,” said Cinnamon, running her finger gently over the moko on my lips. Her hands were soft.

“She’s ariki – noble. I suspect our Anne’s made of sterner stuff than Rex and Ghyslain put together.”

I was a haze of pain. Images and sensations of my surroundings faded blurrily in and out. Kathy dissolved into a mass of green tendrils. Cinnamon was a tawny red, wispy edges of her bleeding out of one arm, and a swirl of tangled skein churning uneasily in her belly.

“You’re hurt,” I said, comprehending.

“I’m fine.” she said stoically.

“Your arm – the bone’s fractured. Your stomach… The insides are torn again from fighting – you’re bleeding… you need help…”

“I’m fine,” she said grimly, sitting up straight and wincing in pain. One hand went involuntarily to her side, “this is not about me. It’s about my mission – and you. After the fight with Epps, Kathy and I consulted, and we both agree we need you healthy if either of us are going to get what we want. We thought it might be a good idea to follow Andrew and the others from a discrete distance. It appears we were correct.”

“What do you want? The codex? The pool? It’s us, Cinnamon – don’t you get that?”

“Well Syvestro and Klaas think it’s a pool, and that it’s coming here soon. If you’re right I’ve already found it. If they’re right, then the pool is coming here soon. Either way, this is where codex is going to be. Anne? Can you still hear me? Listen – these primitive shamanic sorts usually have their magic tied to an object of some kind – typically a grimoire. If we can find it we you stand a chance. That’s what we’ve got to focus on now.”

I lapsed into a spasm of coughing. There was blood in it this time.

Kathy and Cinnamon glanced at each other, obviously worried.

“How long do we have? Hours?” asked Kathy.

“Rather less than that, I’d say.” replied Cinnamon, avoiding my eyes.

Kathy sighed and kneeled before me. She took a deep breath, concentrating. She curled the fingers of one hand into an elaborate pose and laid them against my cheek. She lifted the other hand in a similar, equally familiar gesture and held them gently in front of me.

“What are you doing?” I said nervously, trying to sit up and failing.

“This will help you, Anne,” she said.

“How did you know how to do that? You shouldn’t know how to do that…”

She just stared at me. Her eyes softened – I could almost feel the sadness behind them.

“Rex and I went out for a long time,” she said softly, “he… taught me things. Things I’m not supposed to know. This will help. You’ve got to.”

“No. I – No – ” I said urgently, pushing her hand away from me, “you’re not supposed to know how to do this. It’s not allowed – I could be expelled for doing this with you… it’s secret… at the academy they said…”

Kathy grabbed my hand and began pushing my fingers into the same gesture determinedly.

“You could be hurt… could die…” I continued, afraid.

“You are hurt. You will die. Anne…” she said, staring deep into my eyes, “Anne, just do what I tell you.”

Reluctantly, I took her hand, and then felt my body go limp. From overhead, I saw her tense, and then I was gone.

* * *

The room faded to an overexposed white, and then disappeared altogether. I felt Kathy’s resistance end as the membrane between us snapped. She flowed into me, her pent-up essence released, her health flooding over my soul. The heat dissipated, spreading into her. I felt her give way as the pain washed across and I panicked, trying desperately to take back what I had lent her. Then I felt her weakened self steady. A falling reprieve and I was back.

* * *

I blinked my eyes opened. Kathy got up and teetered unsteadily over to the wall. Then he leaned over and vomited.

“That wasn’t so bad,” she said bravely, wiping her mouth with a Kleenex from her purse and throwing it away in disgust. Beneath her courage her face was ashen, “how are you?”

“How are you?” I said, smiling weakly at her.

Cinnamon’s gaze darted back and forth between the two of us.

“What just happened?” she asked.

I stood up slowly.

“Well I think I was just expelled from the academy, for one thing. But it worked.”

“I know,” she said, shuddering, “I can feel it.”

“I feel like hell too, and that headache is still there, but I feel better.”

“You won’t for long,” said Cinnamon.

“That’s right,” said Kathy, “it’ll keep growing inside you – and if I try that again I will die. Christ, I feel half dead already. Let’s make this right while we still can.”

I smiled involuntarily.

“You sound just like…”

Kathy glared warningly at me.

I took her by the arm and all three of us began walking down the corridor.

“Come on,” I said, “let’s go rescue the men.”

* * *

The palace truly was enormous – even once we left the rough-hewn stone passages of the lower level, we were presented with a labyrinth of passages.

“Servant’s quarters – a harem of some sort. That’s where they’ll be.” murmured Kathy as we walked along.

“This place is huge,” I said.

“And well appointed,” said Cinnamon, “Syvestro spares no expense. Look at this,” she said, turning to a handled shutter in the wall, “dumbwaiters – the latest technology. It’s like a little piece of Europe right here in…”

Cinnamon’s voice trailed off and her ears perked up. She shushed us silently with one finger. She grew totally still and then suddenly jerked open the door of the dumbwaiter and, in one fluid motion, pulled out the body of the person who was hiding within. The two women – for the person Cinnamon had revealed was indeed a woman – wrestled on the floor. Kathy hefted her crowbar, and I thought about making my light saber live, but they were too tangled up for me to risk hurting the wrong person. Finally Cinnamon got the upper hand, pinning her opponent against the wall with a knitting needle poised a hairsbreadth away from her Adams apple.

“What are you doing here?” both women asked each other at once.

“What the hell…?” spat Kathy.

I could see why she was confused – the two women appeared to be mirror images of each other, excepting the sandy blonde hair, slightly more pungent smell, and extremely slutty harem get-up of Cinnamon’s opponent.

“Cinnamon?” asked the woman, eyes wide in surprise.

“What the – ?” began Cinnamon incredulously.

“Oh sis, how terrific to see you!” exclaimed the woman, smiling brightly and throwing her arms around Cinnamon in a bear hug.

* * *

“Cumin? Cumin?” Cinnamon sheathed her needle and grabbed Cumin by both shoulders and shook her, “you’re supposed to be in school in Cheltenham! What in god’s name are you doing in the middle of central Asia? Mother and father will murder me! How dare you!”

“Oh well,” said Cumin, sulking prettily. She reached inside her bra to produce a slim silver case, extracted a cigarette and put it to her lips, “do you have a light, sis?”

“Proper ladies don’t smoke.” chastised Cinnamon severely.

Kathy and I stared at her incredulously for a full five seconds before she relented.

“Yes yes, of course I’ve got a light.” she said, relenting and producing a small lighter and lighting up her sister’s cigarette, “but that’s not the point – and it doesn’t mean that proper ladies don’t smoke. It’s just that, well… some of us are in Her Majesty’s service, you know. When employed by a super-intelligent whale, one must make exceptions – ”

Cinnamon was about to continue when Cumin cut her off by grabbing each of us and hugging us warmly.

“And you,” she said hugging me, “and you,” she said, hugging a somewhat taken-aback Kathy, “well, if I know my sister you must be unwitting accomplices. Unwitting accomplices, Cumin. Cumin, unwitting accomplices.”

“she’s… you’re…” I spluttered.

“I assure you,” said Cinnamon icily, “the fact that we are twins does not for one instance mean that we share any common characteristics.”

“Ooohhh” said Cumin, pinching Cinnamon’s cheeks familiarly and growling in the sort of friendly, teddy bear voice usually reserved for scratching dogs on the tummy, “Sis is so ashamed! Sis is so ashamed! Look at her! Look at her!”

“Stop it! Stop it!” said Cinnamon as she slapped Cumin’s hands away, more out-of-sorts than I’d ever seen her before, “stop it! Good god, what are you doing here? You’re meant to be in Cheltenham!”

Cumin’s aspect darkened and then brightened again – I could already tell that constancy was not her strong suit.

“Oh sis – I’m in a harem!” she exclaimed, clapping her hands with excitement, “isn’t it fantastic – just like Captain Burton’s translation of the karma su – ”

Cinnamon blushed scarlet and put her hands desperately over Cumin’s mouth.

“Why. Aren’t. You. In. Gloucestershire.?.” said Cinnamon through gritted teeth.

“Well I was in London during Christmas, and they were having auditions for this wonderful new comic opera and I thought that, well, it would really be much more interesting than the next term was going to be…”

“Theatre?” gasped Cinnamon, “Cumin, do you have any idea what class of woman involves herself with the theatre?”

“Oh don’t worry sis, it was very artistic – H.M.S. Pinafore, by Sullivan and Gilbert.”

“Sullivan and Gilbert?” Cinnamon asked, trying to dredge up a memory, “the people who did ‘Trial by Jury’?”

Kathy’s eyes narrowed skeptically.

“You were in the world premiere of HMS Pinafore?”

“Oh no, I didn’t get into the show, but Mr. Carte has several other ideas for me,” she said brightly, “he suggested that I try the international circuit, so I got booked into this wonderful Russian circus.”

“CIRCUS?!”

“They had these fantastic bears that danced in little tutus,” said Cumin, getting up and turning a pirouette, “and there was a sword swallower,” she said swallowing, “and then, well, one night in Minsk some Cossacks had a bit of a difference with the manager and, I… well…”

“Out with it.” commanded Cinnamon.

“Well,” said Cumin, wincing, “I was sort of sold into white slavery a little.”

“WHITE SLAVERY?”

“Well it wasn’t my idea, and I was only in white slavery for a little bit, I promise sis really I do. Most of it was actually quite picturesque. And at any rate, it turns out Syvestro is really a very nice sort of person to have in charge of your harem…”

“You’re in D’Alogna’s harem?! Do you mean you’ve actually had… relations with that rancid little dictator?!” Cinnamon said, the color draining from her face.

“Well,” said Cumin, grinning wickedly, “actually he tends to prefer…”

“I can’t hear you. I can’t hear you,” said Cinnamon, clamping her hands over her ears, “we will not discuss this again ever. Ever.”

“Wait a second,” I said, “you live here?”

“Yes.”

“In the harem?”

“Yes.”

Kathy lifted Cumin up by the arm, dusted her off, and began turning on the charm.

“I don’t suppose you’ve seen two women – one with antlers, the other who gives off strong ‘male mind control’ vibes?”

“Antlers? You mean Elvira?” said Cumin. Then her eyes widened in recognition, “oh – you must be after those two American boys that Baklava bought home the other day. Have you seen the younger one, sis? He’s so dishy.”

“Huff? Why no, I don’t know what you mean.”

Cumin ran her eyes over her sister, then looked at us, and then looked at Cinnamon again.

“My, someone’s got quite a crush.” she said, teasing her sister.

“Do not!” protested Cinnamon in exactly the way that Shakespeare must have had in mind when he wrote that line about ladies protesting too much.

“I don’t suppose you’ve seen some sort of magic artifact… a grimoire perhaps…?” I asked.

“You mean the source of Elvira’s power? Good lord, she hasn’t been up to the blood magic again, has she?” Cumin sighed and peered into Kathy’s face, “you look like you’ve got a touch… no wait – ” she took my hand and looked into my eyes with an incredibly empathetic gaze, “ah – you’ve got it. I say, rather good of you help her,” she said to Kathy, “Hmm… I see how this goes. My sister is up to her usual no good, ropes together a bunch of Americans, a lady celestial and, er, are you a red Indian dear? And now you’ve got your friends to rescue, but Syvestro has asked his lady friends to lend a hand?”

“Wow,” said Kathy, “you’re good at this.”

“I’m very perceptive,” said Cumin with gay self confidence, taking our arms and leading us down the hallway, “Cinnamon gets it from me. Well this whole rescuing thing sounds quite the adventure. Let’s get on with it, shall we?”