Small Bit

by Alex

(Just for instance, here’s the Kathy/Rex thing)

I was so busy backing the Force Adept into a corner that I didn’t even notice the Dark Jedi had thrown his light saber at me – let alone realize its trajectory traced a broad loop and that it was now heading directly at the back of my neck. Luckily, even the most sneakily thrown of lightsabers is no match for ears honed for balance and blend by years of choral singing. I turned a backward somersault over the blade, and then leaped sideways, trying to get both of them in front of me. Trust me, the two-on-one sucks, but it sucks especial hard when you’ve got one guy on either side of you.

The adept was to my left, pushing and pulling me with the force to keep me off balance while his friend came in with a series of strong swipes. A couple of times he tried the classic choke-and-lift so his buddy could get a clean slice in, but there was no way I was going to fall for the oldest trick in the book.

I had just ducked behind a pillar and was getting ready to come out swinging when the mobile phone on my hip began beeping. Just then the force adept drenched my hidey-hole with evil blue force lightning while his friend came in over the top. I rolled low and turned away into the main corridoor of the ancient Jedi grave where we battled. My mobile phone was still beeping. I ran back towards the main hall in order to buy enough time to check my caller id.

Shit – my girlfriend. I had to take it.

Regretfully, I hit the ‘pause’ button on my Xbox.

“Hey hon,” said Kathy’s voice, “how’s tricks.”

“Just fine,” I said idly, “perfecting my double bladed light saber technique.”

“Double bladed lightsaber?” she said, with more than a little hint of fed-upness in her voice, “Rex, you are a Jedi. I don’t even understand why you play Jedi Academy – you’ve actually got a lightsaber for chrissakes!”

“Are you kidding me,” I replied, cradling the phone between my elbow and neck and walking into the kitchen to make another martini, “Yoda and Nelson Rockefeller both have five bucks that say I’ll be able to take Chen in multiplayer mode at the LAN party in the council chambers next month. I can’t let them down – and you know how much time Chen spends on line.”

Like most mobile phones, mine got shitty reception. But I could still tell that the static on the other end of the line was Kathy sighing in expaserated resignation and not the signal fading out.

“Well if I may interrupt you, your Jediness, there’s something I thought you ought to know about.”

“But of course dearest,” I said sweetly, trying desperately not to piss off the lady with the crowbar, “what is it…?”