Future Stories Set in the Huff Fandom
by Alex
Well y’all haven’t seen it, but I’ve written the end of AHATPOLS and now just have to fill in the intervening episodes (which are in the pipe). As a result, my imagination is moving on. But in which direction? I’m strongly inclined to do 1, 6, 2, 7, and 8 (in about that order). How about you? Vote in the comments for the one you’d like to see, since I’m kinda torn:
1) Rex/Kathy pair up to fight evil: kinda like Hart to Hart, but with more lightsabers and salsa dancing and without Lionel Stander. They have an apartment, dog, and eat out at Lula’s a lot. Cute. Thinly veiled.
2) Rex coming of age story: a young Rex is saved from a life of alcoholic slumming in salsa bars by Nelson Rockefeller and trained in the ways of the force in the central highlands of Papua New Guinea. Special guest appearences by Jedi Knight Michel Foucault and possibly Satan. Pythons.
3) Jasper mystery type thing: Jasper teams up with a coked-up Jimmy Page-lookin’ Sherlock holmes to solve crimes. Ironic rerun of ‘sign of the four’ with more attention paid to the Andaman Islanders and not very much movement on Jasper’s part. Dolphin ravers with glo sticks in their blowholes.
4) Young Anne solo: NOLF type assignment where Anne and Hans-Georg Gadamer travel to Mars to learn the true story of Basque cultural history. Guest appearence by Cinnamon. Klingons.
5) Liorah Horowitz/AKMA mashup: Mayan Sysadmin teams up with Episcopal priest to defeat ancient vampires. Backstory narrated as a series of flashbacks with biblical stories told from point of view of Mayan Spaceadmins trying to keep the Pillar of Smoke and the Pillar of Fire processes from crashing during exodus. Vampires ghostwrite song of solomon. Cameo by Rabbi Akiva.
6) Leuschke.org in the Land of the Lost: Leuschke and Chen accidentally travel back the Land of the Lost. Have to learn to coexist despite different temperments. Ride dinosaurs, meet Will and Holly, fight Sleestaks who have read Lionel Trilling. Team up with good-aligned ‘beatnik’ Sleestacks who take bennies, fight evil, and don’t actually understand Buddhism. Chaka is actually Tennyson.
7) Cinnamon Huff And The Adventure Of The Ottoman Empire: Cinnamon and Andrew travel back in time with The Beatles and join forces with the Baal Shem Tov to keep the Parthenon from getting blown up by the evil Turkish cavalry officer Nazarin Hamid. Lord Elgin is a vampire. Bene Jesserit tie in: Beatles take melange and write ‘within you without you’. Guest appearences by Leuschke.org and Phil Spector.
8) Anne w/Padwan: Anne grapples with adulthood as she and her first Padwan, Willem Lessig, go on their first assignment to the Sunni Triangle. The ethics of international intervention are mooted and Willem learns a lesson about love as he and a Bene Jesserit apprentice flirt with giving up their careers for love. Special guest appearance from Natalie Portman. She uses two lightsabers with a fast attack style and level three force grip.
I’d probably choose #2 but only because that is the best chance I’d have to appear. I think I like number one most because I like that sort of stuff at base. I may have been drinking. It is hard to tell.
Damn.
2, 4, 7, and 8. I’m a fan of the main characters in the piece and would like to see them develop.
Dude, how can you ignore the literary gem that is sleestak? I smell Hugo award…
Hell, do’em all.
I like number two, although I wonder what happened to make Cinnamon take someone else’s last name? In her time, she would have been on the forefront of modern feminism.
I also like number 8, number 1, and number 4, and I like em all, actually. Even though I’m not a big fan of the Beatles.
I vote for #5, but you could probably have guessed that. I also vote for backstory in which Salome Alexandra is a secret Mayan sysadmin. Er, possibly I should write my own fanfic? ;)
My second choice is #4 — between Anne, Gadamer, and Basque cultural history, what’s not to like?
I’m most intrigued by your second option, but I suspect I’ll greatly appreciate reading any of them.
I have to be an evil Turkish Officer? Ah well, I’m just honoured to be mentioned in the ever evolving saga of AHATPOLS.
I’m surprised this even looks like a choice, Alex. Mayan Spaceadmins are the wave of the future in popular fiction; the Song of Songs has shown millenia of staying power; vampires made Anne Rice rish; Rabbi Akiva — say no more. That, plus the devastatingly, uh, er, devastatingly clerical male lead guarantee you an online phenomenon on the scale of Down and Out in the Magic Knigdom. Really, trust me.
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